Kids are back to school but if this is a new school, your child may be grieving for their old friends, the old neighborhood. Remember in the movie Inside Out how what happened when Sadness was excluded from the little girl's emotions? Things fell apart rapidly, she didn't thrive at home or at school. Her parents made her feel she had to be their "happy girl" and she was burdened with having to smile all the time, making her parents think she was ok when inside she was sad and not at all happy with her new home or school.
Last night I had the privilege of sitting in a
circle with a number of courageous people each with a unique story of
loss. Tears flowed, of course, but laughter too. Eyes rolled as we
recognized how others' well meaning comments fall flat, such as "time
heals everything, you just need more time". If that were true, there's
be few problems in our world, but we know that just isn't so. "Time
wounds all heels" may be closer to the truth, for indeed it is wounding
when time passes and the pain of grief just won't go away.
The sun may be shining today, but do you care? I mean, really, could you give a darn? Sometimes, there are days when unresolved grief stalks us and nothing is right, friends, weather, even small gifts offered with love, just amount to a blah, so what ! And you don't even feel guilty, maybe you feel indifferent, numb. How well I remember the feeling.
I remember NOT calling friends for fear I would become a burden. After all, that divorce was over and done with by now, and my mother died in her mid-80's, a good age to go, I was long-divorced from the father of my two children so what if he died unexpectedly, why would I still feel anything for him?